Dreams, Glitter and Tears

I suck so bad.


So ok, updates and stuff... cliffnotes version:

Darling and I met in October on 2 occasions, more to come on that, orlly just logs of what i downloaded in channel.

Holy shit. He's amazing. What don't I love? pfft.

I got a promotion and raise at work, FINALLY. GAH.

James and I are doing pretty good, although he gets jealous at times. I dunno how to soothe his ego any more than I am, yet anything i do gets shot down instantly. Sunuvabeech.

Darling's Roommate, Eskimo started talking to me during his visit and she and I have become closer than I have come to any other woman, ever. I love her dearly. I've been waiting so long to really connect to another woman the way I do with her. It was totally worth the wait.


Winter has come and along with it the deepest depression I have felt in a long time. wish i had a street pharmacist available to get prozac from. or something. anything. I have turned to old habits and curse myself daily for them.

I have lost a substantial amount of weight, at Darlings encouragement. I don't know how to begin thanking him for that.

I learned just today that I lost a neighbor, and I am reminded that only a few days ago was the 1 year mark of losing my Great Grandfather, the one man that truly loved me, yet abused me horribly. *sigh* A couple of beloved pets have passed as well.

Day to day life is a struggle, but the benefits of surviving is debatable yet overwhelmingly joyous.

Shit happens.