Dreams, Glitter and Tears

We got here safe and sound last night, got the kids tucked in, the van unloaded and everyone but me crashed. I was hopped up on frappachinos with espresso shots added in.
Jim and I stayed up until about 4 am talking about everything under the sun, from the kids to the vietnam war, to Reganomics, to binary code, my ex-husband/his son, Jamie (the one that I recently started a letter writing campaign to) and of course, Jim's health. I listened to his heart and he has a substantially enlarged heart with a very noticable and most likely malignant murmur. His liver is failing as well and he has a lot of mystery problems that the doctors are just guessing back and forth on what the diagnoses are. He is in good spirits, aside from his general hate for doctors and being dragged through bullshit in his treatment and frustration at the different medications he has to take, their interactions and side effects. it's a battle of living longer and quality of life and some days he really seems to want to jus stop taking the meds and LIVE for a while. I don't blame him, but I encouraged him to stay with his treatments anyway because a lot of things that make him better internally may not be things that he can actually feel the effects of.
I slept next to him, sitting up with my head on his shoulder on the couch, until he got uncomfortable, but then it was about time for me to get the day started with the kids anyway. I got them breakfast, got the playstation set up so Kay could show Jim how good she is at Guitar Hero. He really liked it, he cranked Freebird as she played it.
The kids took turns quietly playing video games as I napped on the recliner in the living room and Jim slept on the couch, as is his regular snoozing place.
After he woke, I talked to him for a while and we huggled with me sitting my hips on the edge of the couch and my back against his chest. It was nice, as he's more of a father to me than my own and I really enjoy how open and cuddly of a dad he is. More about this whole thing later. Sorry for the public readers but it'll be an entry where you have to be on my friends list. If you're on there, you'll see why. Serious stuff.
later I got sick, because James and I got in a tiff. I settled down and ate to get my blood sugars back in order. James and I talked briefly and he is still debating whether or not he just wants to visit Emily and Laura and leave them with their mother for the school year or if he wants to bring them home. I think he is just acting on his stress, which is never a good idea.
We ordered pizza, got some beer and other goods at the store and just chilled at Jims house tonight, as the kids watched TV, visted with Jim and played video games. We really enjoyed hearing Jason, my (ex)brother in law, play the piano. he's really gotten amazingly good in the 2 years he has been playing.
I gave James a few Celexa and between those and the beer, he crashed. I got the kids settled in and decided to update my journal and see if I could figure out why Christel didn't come through yesterday. Someone directed me to a journal entry that she wrote saying she had an allergic reaction to a bug bite and got very sick. I hope she is ok. She didn't mention me in the entry at all, nor missing our get-together or the note that i left at the front desk of the hotel for her. Odd.

It took me a while of poking around my email and then getting ready to write this entry and I figured it out:

Turns out, she left a note on another entry of my journal, but I had already turned my computer off because I was shutting everything down to save power while we were gone. I don't know why she didn't call me, and I still don't understand why she didn't answer her cellphone. But at least I know it wasn't malicious at all.
She will be back in February, I believe. Hopefully we will get together then.

Emily and Laura get dropped off at 11:30 tomorrow morning, we stay the rest of the day to visit with Jim a little longer, then early Tuesday morning, we are packing the van up and are on the road again. That's the plan anyway.

Well, We just left Christel's hotel.

I called before we left, as promised. I got no answer. But she was up late so maybe she was still sleeping. I turned on the kitchen computer and logged into xchat really quick to see if she was online. Still away status. I left a query telling her "wake up, sweetie! I'm on my way"
We loaded up the van and kids and I drove to the hotel. I called her cellphone again from the lobby. no answer. I went to the hotel room and knocked. no answer. I called her hotel room from the lobby. no answer. Finally, I just left a note for her at the front desk. The clerk says that she saw "them" leave, but didn't know when. She said that she would give Christel the note upon her return.

We left. I pouted and picked myself apart for about the first hour of the drive out of Houston. Did I do something wrong? Was I too eager and maybe scared her off? Did she simply forget about me? Did something job related or an emergency come up? Why isn't she answering her cellphone? Why wouldn't she have called my house if she needed to cancel? Did she intend on meeting me at all? So on and so forth, leading into the last week of Darren standing me up on Wednesday and Charlie standing me up and then avoiding me last Saturday. Why is this becoming a habit for me? James suggested that maybe I am choosing friends with the same base character flaw that leaves them inconsiderate/unreliable or just jackasses. I don't believe so but then again, 2 out of the 3 this past week have been 6 year friendships.

Meh. Back to navigating so we can get to Memphis as quickly and painlessly as possible. Wish us luck.

I'm packing and log in to 2 of my favorite places to be: ##essy and #felines-lair. I chat and play for a few minutes with some of my friends on there and lo and behold my Lil Sis, Christel greets me! She says "you didn't answer the livejournal comment I left you!" Holy shit, she commented?
Sure enough, 2 days ago, she did! She said that she is in Houston, from England!! She gave me her cellphone number and I call her. I don't get an answer but she calls right back. We talk about possibly having an impulsive 3 am meeting, but Richard has the car so she can't. So tomorrow, on the way out of Houston to go on our trip to Memphis (to pick up Emily and Laura from their mother's house), We will be driving about 45 minutes out of our way to stop by Christel's hotel room! I promise to call before we leave to go there so she knows when we should be arriving, and we hang up.

I am so super excited. Christel is so fun to talk to and spend time with and we have so very much in common. We've been friends since November and I've been looking forward to finally meeting her. James is simply happy that I will be hanging out with a female for once.

Ok, much more packing to do, but that just tickled me pink!!