Dreams, Glitter and Tears

Some say don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.
I say don't let your babies grow up to be smarter than you, ask their advice, then refuse to take it. Of course there is a story to go with this, this is my Mother we're talking about. But I know... someone out there, she's your mother too! Don't deny it, we are children of the same damned evil woman and can hide it no longer.

My Mother calls me. Too often. We all have this problem, yes. However, what makes my Mother different than many other Mothers is that she calls me asking ME for advice! How to deal with my unruly brother, how to deal with his lazy waste of a girlfriend, what to do legally in this matter or that (I'm no fucking lawyer, lemme alone!) and the list goes on. I'll only give 1 example, as I could go on all day about this. She asks for my advice and knowing full well she will not TAKE the advice I give her, I give it to her anyway. I know, I'm a sucker. And I like telling my Mom "I told you so".


Example: You brother won't get a job/won't pay the rent/won't do anything I tell him to do. A classic.

My Mom lets my brother rent out her house, as she spends 99% of her time across the street at her boyfriends house (convenient, eh?). He is only to pay for his food and his part of the bills, which basically means all of them. The house is paid for so no actual "rent" is asked for.

Mom: You know what your brother did this time? What should I do?
Rita: What did he do now?
M: He lost his job.
R: Why?
M: Because he wouldn't get his lazy ass out of bed, that's why.
R: Well, normally I'd say he was screwed until he found a new job but I guess he's got it made now.
M: What do you mean?
R: Um well, because you never make him pay the bills so he will go on expecting you to pay them.
M: Well, he says he can't find another job, that it's hard
R: Duh it's hard. It's hard everywhere, so what?
M: Well, I only make $500 a month from my disability, he's acting like I'm the bank

(I love how she just switches from whining about one thing to another without addressing the issue at hand)

R: But you keep paying the bills and giving him money, of course he does.
M: You know what he did?
R: what?
M: He borrowed $20 from me for gas and said he'd pay it back...
R: and he doesnt have the money...
M: YES! Can you believe that?
R: *dripping sarcasm* NOOOOOO! ...So are you gonna make him get a job?
M: He won't get out of bed
R: So what, go wake him up and tell him to get a job! If he doesn't have a job, he can't pay the bills and therefore you should evict him!
M: Well he won't get out of bed and I end up paying everything and (this is where she whines about everything under the sun, a lot of which has NOTHING to do with my brother or his job situation)
R: Look. Mom. You need to tell him to get a job and give you the money for the bills and food by a certain date or that you will kick him out.
M: Well, I did, I told him that if he was gonna just live here off of me to get out and he said he didn't want to hear my shit and he got pissed and left.
R: Well, when he didn't pay up, what did you do?
M: I told him to give me his housekey. He did.
R: Then how is he in bed right now?
M: His girlfriend let him in

*facepalm*

R: Did you tell her that she wasnt allowed to do that?
M: Yes, but she did anyway.
R: Does SHE pay for anything?
M: No, she just sleeps all day.
R: Then kick HER out
M: She says she has nowhere to go.
R: Send her back to her mothers house!
M: She doesnt want to live with her mother.
R: Why not?
M: Because her mother nags at her to get a job and do something with her life.

*facepalm*

R: Tell them to pay up or get out. it's as simple as that. I would do it with my kids if they were supposed to be paying for groceries and bills.
M: Well, I will when they wake up. they're sleeping now.
R: Mom, they are going to use you for as long as you let them.
M: They will not, I'm gonna make him get up and get a job.
R: Yes they will and no you won't. You're all nag and no consequence. If they use and abuse you until you die, you'll let them and they know it because you've never held to your word yet. And YOU are the one that continues this vicious cycle with your lack of assertiveness and lack of self discipline that it takes to follow through on your threats and bitching.
M: Ok, well... I've gotta go, the dog is across the street and I've gotta go umm, make sure it's ok.
R: ok, bye.
M: bye.


2 years later they still live with her, their newborn baby is in State custody and the situation is otherwise the same. Did she listen to me? Fuck no! Does she still call me EVERY DAY for advice and to bitch about the SAME problem. Fuck yes!

Look. Parents. PARENT YOUR CHILDREN. My brother is a 1st class example of overnurturing and allowing your kids to walk all over you because you don't want to be the "bad guy" and make them hate you for "dumping them on the streets" when they turn 18. My kids are gonna HATE my ass, oh yeah. They are because I'm gonna turn to them when they're 18 and say "You going to go to college with a 3.0 GPA or better?" If the answer is yes, they can stay AND help with rent/bills/food. If the answer is no, GET THE FUCK OUT. I've done my part. If I've done my job as a parent, they'll be ready to go at 18 and will be able to work, support themselves and their potential mate/child if need be and won't come crying to me for money. The bank of Mom and Dad stops at age 18, if not before that.
I know my daughter is going to read this and will be like "damn, Rita's a mean ol bitch", but honey, I love you and I show it by getting you out into the world, not staying in the nest until you're old and grey. Living with your parents until you're 30 is shameful. Doing so in the fashion that my brother is, horrid. Being a parent that doesn't understand that there are some hard lessons in life and sometimes you've gotta deliver them yourself, unrealistic and just as shameful as my louse of a brother, sucking the life and money out of my Mother as long as he can get away with it.

Stop expecting schools and your childrens friends to raise your child, raise them with good morals, life skills and the ability to use them to their advantage so that they can be productive members of society. And if you fuck up and can't do a good job of that, for Christs sake don't go crying to your OTHER children, who somehow managed to realize what a bad parent you are, decided to be a better parent than that and are doing well with their kids. They don't want to tell you how to raise their siblings. It's like a schoolteacher asking a student how to deal with another child that the TEACHER lets misbehave. Ridiculous! Grow a pair and do your own dirty work!

That is all.

Oh, Kiirani, I must thank you publically for this one.

During late night chatting and general trading of bitching and stories of our own and others personal drama, Kiirani pointed me to Http://www.violentacres.com , a blog of a woman that sounds like someone leapt into my brain and spilled out everything I think onto the internet, in it's perfectly crass and in your face way. I read 3 of her entries and fell in love with this woman. Ok maybe i didn't fall in love but damn, she's fantastic.

I think I may have to take a page from her book and start really letting go in my public entries, so that people really understand how this strange bipolar brain of mine really works. Oh my my my. It feels so good to get it out there in a way that you can understand without question. My first "Frankly Rita" entry will come soon. 



A warning on "Frankly Rita" entries: they may be the following: Not work safe, crass, abusive, bitchy, 100% honest, rude, crude, offensive, politically incorrect, socially incorrect, mean, filled with swinging moods and raging hormones and more! If you are reading at work, you may want to skip these entries, even if the content is ok to read at work- I don't want to get you fired for laughing too loudly at my chaotic ranting. Then you'll bitch at me and I'll get all pissy etc...