Dreams, Glitter and Tears

Remember the manager that gave me a horrible interview, was mean and nasty, etc?

I promised I'd call him today to tell him yes or no on the job, so he would know whether or not to expect me Monday. I called the business first.

"Yes, I'm trying to reach Aman"
"Who?"
"Aman"
"Oh, he doesn't work here anymore"

I'm not terribly surprised, the guy was a real asshole and couldn't even read/interpret his own applications. I'm glad I didn't take the job, one may not have been waiting there for me Monday had I decided to start there. It would have sucked to turn down an easier job for $6.55 to think I had a harder one for $6.00 and then not get it either. Good choosing, me!

Yesterday and today, I had interviews with 2 different places to get a survival job. For those that don't know, a survival job is what you get when you are too damn poor to wait for a nice cushy job. You get it to survive, and until that nice job comes along. Yesterdays interview was with a chicken place really close to my house. Todays was the local grocery store. Why places so close to home? Because I walk or ride my bike until my job gets my car fixed, remember?

Yesterdays interview was crap. The manager saw my bike and looked at me with disdain. Then he said "Is THAT how you'll be getting to work?" I lied and told him that I bike for health... which I guess isn't exactly a lie, I am getting some health benefit out of it, but lets face it, I'd rather be driving. He then sat down with me and told me everything he "hated" about my application, lectured me, then offered me the job- for nighttime hours. I was looking for daytime hours. He said the rat of pay would be $6.00 an hour but could increase with time, good performance and advances at the job. Like YAY, I want to be a fast food manager. Not really. What am I doing here again? I told him I would let him know on Saturday if I wanted to take the position. I knew I had an interview with the store today and would much rather work as a cashier at the store than frying chicken.

Todays interview was great. The manager was pleasant and asked me about myself, what my strengths and weaknesses are, normal interview questions. She admitted that she was impressed with me, that I was highly overqualified for the job but that she understood that I had a financial need and that I was serious about getting and keeping a job. She also admitted that she knew she wanted to hire me the minute she met me. *beams* The hours aren't what I wanted though, it would be 2-9:30 pm, sometimes 10 pm. I won't see James or the kids on the days that I work, which would be Thursday through Sunday, I think. I hate working weekends but it sure would make the week run more smoothly. I took the job. I have to buy a white polo shirt for the uniform but otherwise I have everything else I need. I hope I can handle standing for 8 hours a day. Oh please please please I hope I can. Stupid hip, don't fail me now.

I have to call the manager for the other store tomorrow to tell him I took a position with another company. Based on the interview, I'm guessing he will be pissed but I dont think I want to work for someone that is so pissy anyway.

Kays birthday is tomorrow, she will be 11. :)

Tonight I talked with James about pron and issues a little bit. Overalll it went well. I didn't get upset or frustrated at all but I believe that he did. He requested that we stop talking about it after a while. I think we got a little better understanding of how the other thinks about things though. I hope that he understands my sensitivity and automatic negativity a little better. I don't want those feelings to be there but I don't know how to cope with them so they're still there. Time and experience is making them dwindle but it's not going as quickly as he'd like. I worry that I may take too long to get over my old wounds and scars and he will simply give up on me, seeing it as a lost cause. I really need to make Steve push me to face these things instead of only talking about lighter subjects or other matters that are less important to the marriage.

I called the animal clinic that I'm trying to get a job at and they told me they are "still in the interview process". Doesnt sound good... I also haven't heard back from Dominoes which is downright ridiculous. It's a fucking pizza place already. The last place I worked at is smearing my good name, it's making getting ANY job a living hell.

My psych switched up my meds a little because I've been complaining of being tired all the time and the weight gain is KILLING me. Risperdal was switched to Abilify, and he added Strattera because of my ADD is making it difficult to function when I am NOT sleepy.

I sent the letter to Jamie. Now the waiting begins. :noes: