Dreams, Glitter and Tears

Tonight I talked with James about pron and issues a little bit. Overalll it went well. I didn't get upset or frustrated at all but I believe that he did. He requested that we stop talking about it after a while. I think we got a little better understanding of how the other thinks about things though. I hope that he understands my sensitivity and automatic negativity a little better. I don't want those feelings to be there but I don't know how to cope with them so they're still there. Time and experience is making them dwindle but it's not going as quickly as he'd like. I worry that I may take too long to get over my old wounds and scars and he will simply give up on me, seeing it as a lost cause. I really need to make Steve push me to face these things instead of only talking about lighter subjects or other matters that are less important to the marriage.

I called the animal clinic that I'm trying to get a job at and they told me they are "still in the interview process". Doesnt sound good... I also haven't heard back from Dominoes which is downright ridiculous. It's a fucking pizza place already. The last place I worked at is smearing my good name, it's making getting ANY job a living hell.

My psych switched up my meds a little because I've been complaining of being tired all the time and the weight gain is KILLING me. Risperdal was switched to Abilify, and he added Strattera because of my ADD is making it difficult to function when I am NOT sleepy.

I sent the letter to Jamie. Now the waiting begins. :noes: